On average, it takes women 18 months to leave a marriage. There is a lot of back and forth, pro and con lists, and playing out of worst case scenarios. But I think one of the main reasons it takes us so long to take steps is because divorce seems so incredibly overwhelming. Divorce is like this well-kept secret by lawyers, who you need to pay a lot of money to in order to get started with your divorce, and even then you feel completely unprepared.